A Simple Communication Skill for Deeper Relationships
Relational skill #1
This week on Faith & Feelings, my clinical supervisor — licensed therapist Carley Marcouillier, and I kicked off our Emotionally Healthy Relationships summer podcast series by introducing a simple communication skill built around five prompts:
(1) appreciations, (2) worries & concerns, (3) complaints & possible solutions, (4) new information, and (5) hopes & wishes.
These prompts create space for safety, honesty, and emotional closeness within relationships. Whether this is your first time hearing about this skill or you’re looking for a fresh way to grow, we hope this conversation encourages you to take small, meaningful steps toward deeper connection:
Or listen to the episode on Spotify or YouTube.
The ways we learned to relate to others are deeply embedded in us—especially when we’re under stress. The prompts above are designed to help us reconnect with our dignity, agency, and voice. Author and pastor Pete Scazzero puts it this way, highlighting how essential these practices are for our growth and formation:
Appreciations say: “I see you.”
Worries & concerns says: “I won’t bear false witness against you.”
“I notice . . . and I prefer” says: “I can assert my God-given dignity in a way that respects you.”
New information says: “What is going on in my life is important.”
Hopes and wishes say: “I am a human being with longings.”
As we explore seven more core relational skills over the next seven weeks, what might it look like to invite a friend to listen with you? Listen to each episode together, try out the practices, and take time to process. These conversations are meant to be lived—not just learned.
Here are a few questions to consider for reflection this week:
How did your family of origin express appreciation, share complaints, or talk about hopes and wishes?
What was it like for you to express yourself in each of these areas?
Which category feels most natural for you? Which one is most challenging?
Journeying together,
Taylor Joy