When It Feels Like You Don't Belong

What's included: a video clip from the episode; what self-rejection looks & sounds like; a quote to consider; a song to listen to; reflection questions to ponder

This week’s Faith & Feeling’s guest, Amina, & I when we met during our first year of grad school.

How we walk into room will always carry evidence of our formation.

The way we act, if we get big or small, whether our voices soften or louden, if our shoulders hunch or straighten, whether we anticipate acceptance or brace for unbelonging...it all tells a story. A story about something we’ve lived.

This week’s Faith & Feeling’s episode with my friend Amina is just so beautiful. Through her story, she shows us that when we read rejection into a room, it’s roots can often be traced to pivotal moments of self-rejection in our childhoods that are still living inside of us today. Together, Amina and I process what it really looks like to belong, when to trust the invitation of others, and how to walk into a room as your own friend. I hope you’ll listen in:

Or listen to the episode on Spotify here.

A video clip from the episode:

In my conversation with Amina, she shared a recent story about going to a game night. When she misunderstood a rule in the game, she describes a moment that she emotionally spiraled.

At the core of her reaction was a fear deeply embedded in her story: the fear that making a mistake would cost her belonging.

As we processed her feelings of shame, embarrassment, and disappointment, she began to recognize what had been at play inside of her that night: self-rejection. Watch this 1-minute clip of Amina describing what this felt like:

That line that Amina said has stayed with me: “No one was rejecting me. I was rejecting me.”

What self-rejection looks & sounds like: